It is sadistic. It is tough. It makes you feel like a recovering drug and alcohol addict on a Saturday night at Studio 64 back in it's heyday (just assuming). Though that might have been easier for me, seeing as I am neither a former, present or future drug/alcohol addict (I'm allergic to Tylenol - yes, I said Tylenol - could you see me ever even chancing to take anything stronger?) but I do eat food. At least you can reasonably stay away from drugs and alcohol. You just don't go to places that you might encounter them. Try staying away from food. It's everywhere I tell you. Everywhere. You would think people need it to live or something.
It starts off ok. Having a fruit smoothie for breakfast on day one is great. You think, "I can do this. That was really tasty and healthy. I am going to be a lean mean fighting machine with a clean colon in no time". The smoothie doesn't stay with you forever, so you have a Mango. Hits the spot. Lunch of an apple and some strawberries isn't so bad. But then you are hungry about 1 pm. And your only option is to have more fruit. So you have another Mango because they are your favorites and eating two in a day is not a hardship. And they keep you feeling full. But now you are creeping up on dinner time and having another piece of fruit is sounding about as much fun as gouging your eyes out with a dull spoon. About now, you might be willing to gouge your eyeballs out with said spoon if someone were to just bring you a plate of anything warm. That didn't have any fruit involved in its making.
But you made it. Day one is over and you are down a few pounds. All water weight but so what. The numbers on the scale are smaller. And you head to bed hungry, but proud of yourself for starting something healthy. And smiling because you know tomorrow you don't have to eat any fruit.
Day two starts a bit odd. A baked potato is not usually my breakfast of choice but very welcome after yesterday. It's warm, it's filling and best of all - it's not fruit. Day two is just one salad after another. Now I hate fruit and salad. Great! And the funny part is that I am starting to hate foods that I used to love and all of a sudden even my most despised foods sound appealing. Just as long as I don't have to eat another tomato (or banana, depending on which day I was on). And cooking for the family just turns into a dreaded chore (which has never been a beloved chore for me anyway). The smells coming from the kitchen are just evil and mouth watering and draw you in like crack. (Again, just assuming). I did plan this so I was doing it while B was out of town. That way all I had to do was cook for the kids until Friday which makes it so much easier. The kids don't complain if they get fruit and left over pasta for dinner 2 days in a row (OK, maybe it was 3 but it was different fruits). B might. So with B back in time for dinner on Friday, the gig was up. I had to cook. While the family dined on Roasted Chicken, broiled potatoes and onions and some avocado, I had my 7th and 8th tomato's of the day and plain chicken breast. Have I mentioned this was a long week?
But as horrible as it sounds it really wasn't too bad. By day 3 your body has adjusted to the fact that it isn't eating as many calories and you really don't feel very hungry. But hunger isn't the problem - it's the lack of variety. And the lack of warm food. I know there is that soup on day 7 which is actually able to be eaten from day one and on any day, in unlimited quantities but I never even made it. Didn't sound appealing. Thought I would try to go without - though in hindsight it might have helped with variety. Though there isn't anything in it that you couldn't eat raw on veggie day. And it would probably just up the time spent in the 'loo. Which doesn't need to be upped at this point. You are consuming large quantities of liquid and fiber during this cleanse. Something to keep in mind when planning the week if you are going to be out and about.
By now you are asking yourself and me, "Why did you feel the need to torture yourself like this?"
Because I am heading from dead winter into the heat of summer in 3 weeks. I will be in a swimsuit for days on end while at the lake at my parents house. I will be sporting sun dresses and minimal clothing. And I have been celebrating birthday after birthday after birthday in the past 2 months. That is a lot of cake and even more frosting and copious amounts of alcohol. Well maybe not copious but much more than normal. I had gained a few pounds. I wanted them gone. And I wanted another 5 gone so that I have some wiggle room while I am stateside. I have not had most of my favorite foods for almost a year and a half. I am going to E.A.T while I am there. And enjoy it instead of feeling guilty.
And, as of this morning, the scale tells me that every stinking tomato, each banana I choked down after the first (actually, I made shakes, but you get the idea) and the kilos of fruits and veggies I consumed this week were all worth it.
Goal achieved. But I am never doing that again. Well, hopefully not...
Thank you my cleansing buddy for conveying each and every thought I had last week into words! I'm so glad you and I did this together and moaned and groaned together too! Love you!
ReplyDelete