My worries were not centered around the fact that the culture might be a shock to my system. I wasn't even really worried about the language barrier. My worry was about the adjustments my very young girls would have to make. They were moving out of the only home they had ever known. Leaving behind the friendships they had cultivated quickly but deeply in their short lives. They were going to have to learn a new language, a new way of living. They were going to have to find a new normal. And so was I. Maybe that was my biggest worry...the huge adjustments I would have to make while also trying to help my girls navigate their new lives. They were young and very easily accepted change. I, on the other hand, was nearing 40 and getting more and more set in my ways. I like to think of myself as adaptable and open minded but this was all new to me. As much as I thought I was prepared for what life would bring our way living in the Southern Hemisphere, I just couldn't know until I got there. And lived there for awhile.
Ah, but isn't that half the fun? Finding out what we are made of. Finding out what we can change and what we can't. Can our perceptions be skewed to a new way of thinking? Can our expectations be met in situations that are not what we are used to? Can we throw our way of life out the window and start all over again?
Can we?
In my case, yes. It has been a year. One that has had it's ups and downs. But in the overall scheme of things - it has had more ups than downs. It has been 366 {leap year} days of trying new things, travelling to new places and learning all I can about the new place I call home. I have spent the past year working through the stages of adjustment and am happy to say that I am on the other side. We are settled. We are happy. We are home! Home.
So, what have I learned in my year in Chile?
* My Spanglish is now becoming more Span and less glish. I have learned enough Spanish to get me to level A2. It doesn't seem like a lot but when you realize, that even though I have been dating, living with or married to a native Spanish speaker for over 9 years, I could not conjugate even a simple verb in the present tense when we arrived, then this becomes quite an accomplishment. At least I like to think it is. Don't burst my bubble.
*I have learned to laugh at myself. I have always been able to do this, I just have a lot more occasions to use this skill while living in a land where everything is oh-so-different. When you don't know how the system works - anywhere - you tend to make a lot of mistakes. It helps if you can laugh them off, and move on.
* The it is universally true that the nicer you are to someone, the nicer they will be to you. And if not, just keep killing them with kindness. When my Spanish fails me (and it does on occasion) a smile always eases the tension.
* I now know that driving between the lane lines is one of those things that American's do, and if you want to survive here in Chile, you might want to ignore them too.
*I have learned that Yapo is short for Ya pues, sipo is si pues and neither of them really has a translation other than a throwaway work used for emphasis, cachai is the equivalent of "you get it?" or "you know?" and porfa is shorthand for por favor (please). I have also learned that these are things that I should never have learned. They are slang and not in any way should they be a part of my vocabulary.
*Making friends with Chilean women (and men) is hard. They have gone to school with the same group of 20 people from the time they started Kindergarten. Similar to what it's like in the states but more controlled - when I say the same 20 kids, I mean the same 20 kids. Their class rosters do not change in the entire time they are in school and like it or not, these are the kids that they will go to school with for life. Makes it hard to break into the circle.
*I have also learned that there are 5 girls I can count on in any situation. They help me out, they worry with me, they celebrate with me, or they just let me be me. We are all very different except in the regard that we are all foreigners here, trying to navigate a new culture. Doing it together is a lot more fun than doing it alone. I couldn't have made it a week without them, much less a year, and that is more than I could have ever hoped for.
*I have always known that saying good bye is never easy. But I am usually the one doing the leaving. I am finally learning what it is like to be the one being left behind. We said goodbye to one of our 6 yesterday. I have learned it is no fun to be the one left behind. I think I also learned a bit about what it feels like for those I have moved away from so many times.
*Customer service here is all or nothing. Seriously. For next to nothing I can have the vet come pick up my dog from my house, bathe and groom her and have her delivered back to me that same night. No extra charge. And if there is, they have hidden it well because it is still less than I would have paid for a bath for her in the states. And then there are the waiters that couldn't be bothered, the check out clerks that don't seem to care whether you spend money in their store or not, and the return policies...don't get me started.
*Health care! It is a whole separate post and it is a doozy. The U.S. could learn a thing or two. I have never felt like I was in better hands, in a more efficient system. It is a dream come true for a person who has to see doctors more than she sees her friends.
*Children are more adaptable than we give them credit for. They always tell you that routine is so important with children. Keeping things exactly the same each and every hour of the day. I moved my kids 6000 miles, changed their routines, changed their languages, changed their lives and they are doing nothing but thriving. I think the lesson I learned is that children take their cues from their parents. If you don't let it bother you, it won't bother them.
*Both of my children are better at learning new languages than I am. Stinkerbell is fully fluent. Well, at least to the point her vocabulary lets her. MadHatter can differentiate between a Spanish speaker and an English speaker and speaks accordingly. I learned I didn't give them enough credit by worrying so much when we first moved here.
* I have found that life is generally the same. Santiago may be located at the end of the world but it isn't a third world country. My needs are all met and so are most of my wants. Are things exactly the same as they were in the U.S.? No. But that wouldn't be interesting now, would it?
* The travel here is fabulous. There are things we have experienced here that we never could have experienced back in the States. We have been to Patagonia! Patagonia. And in two weeks we are heading to the driest desert in the world and climbing a volcano. Where am I going to do that in the U.S.?
It has been a year. A good year. Here is to the next 365 days!!!
This is us a year ago - a lifetime ago. Just before we moved. Thanks Lu for the pictures. For capturing that moment in time just before life shifted! What a difference a year makes.
