[ˈluːnətɪk]

It's a full moon.  I don't even have to look it up to make sure.  But I did and I was thisclose to being spot on since it is actually a waxing gibbous moon tonight.  That just means it is 99% full and by tomorrow night it's cycle will be complete.

"Are you into astronomy?" you ask.

"Not in the least, though I do love a good eclipse or a night sky lit up with stars like fireworks. I even had to look up waxing gibbous to sound smart.  Astronomy is not my strong suit."

"Then how can you track the cycle of the moon without even trying," you reply.

"Oh, my darling, you don't have children, do you?  They are your best indicators of when the moon is racing headlong into full status.  They start to behave like little crazy people."

"But they are toddlers", you say, so innocently, the way only someone without children could ever pull off, "They are always behaving like little crazy people aren't they?"

And here I have to stop the conversation because I am laughing out loud.  It's true. Toddlers are crazy.  Their behavior has no rhyme, and no reason.  And to the uninitiated, it is even more bizarre and more unreasonable.  I have been on both sides of the toddler equation and before I became a parent, I couldn't have made a distinction between everyday toddler behavior and full on crazy toddler behavior.  I also couldn't have told you the difference between an "I'm hungry" cry and an "I'm really tired" cry and the famous "I really just don't like being around anyone right now so please get my overstimulated self out of this room" cry.  Before I was a Mom, I would have just said, the baby is crying.  After, I could have heard a baby at 20 paces and told you what they needed.  I restrained myself, but after having two in 17 months, I could pretty much tell you the meaning of every single whimper or squeal that left the lips of most babies (it really is a science.  So when I say that my kids are acting a little squirrel-y, at least more than usual, just trust me that it's true.

And what do I mean by squirrel-y behavior?  I mean that the amount of talking back increases tenfold (and this is from the 2 1/2 year old, not the almost 4 year old), the whining is non-stop and the fighting - oh, the fighting- between the two of them, is golden gloves worthy.  They slap, punch, kick and just generally invade each others space at all times.  No slight is too small, no infraction goes unnoticed.  They use their over the top screaming first, then their whiny voices and if that doesn't get it done, the fists/feet start flying.  I feel like I have become a Boxing Referee - I break up a fight and send each contender to their own corner, the time out corner.  Normally, my method of operation is to let them figure it out on their own, but during the full moon, figuring it out on their own could involve a trip to the emergency room and my Spanglish does not yet involve medical terms and ways to explain that it was her 2 1/2 year old sister that inflicted this damage.  Oh yes, the Vegas odds makers would have their money on Stinkerbell 20-1 in a street fight with MadHatter.  I tend to step in for a night or three and then, miraculously, things are back to normal.  Normal?  That just means fist are flying 3 times a day, and the whining only lasts for 10 minutes at a time.  And the talking back all but ceases.  And for those of you with older kids, I know what you are going to say...Just wait, that will start to be a part of your everyday life - not just full moon life.  I know it will happen full force at some stage but for right now, I am sass free.  And I will take if for as long as I can!

It is not by chance that a crazy person is called a lunatic.  The root Luna comes from the Latin word Moon.   In 19th-century England, lawyers even used the "guilty by reason of full moon" defense to claim that their lunatic clients could not be held accountable for actions taken under the full moon.   I wonder if I could still use that defense today???