Déjà Vu all Over Again

Our house keys have been turned in.  Our worldly belongings packed tightly into shipping containers, awaiting their voyage across the ocean.  We have said goodbye, or see you soon, to friends that we have known for far too little time.  And we are, once again, living in hotel's for the foreseeable future.  It is exactly what we did three years ago on our way out of California and into this Spanglish life.

We have come full circle.  Sometimes, it seems that nothing has changed.  And yet, everything has.

Three years ago we were staring into a future that was full of anticipation and promise. Our lives were yet to be shaped by all that would happen in the future.  A future that now is our past.  It was our first time living out of the U.S. as a family and we were excited, though a bit apprehensive.  Everything was so new - the language, the rhythm of this huge city, the very streets we walked each day trying to get accustomed.  Each corner turned brought us face to face with the fact that we were strangers in a strange land.  Slowly, but surely things started to become familiar.  I could find my way to Plaza Peru and back again without getting lost.  I could take the girls to the corner Starbucks and order coffee in Spanish (though I couldn't answer or understand if they veered off script).  I couldn't wait until we left the hotel on that last Friday.  Not because I didn't like the hotel, but because I had been living in one hotel or another, and out of suitcases, for 8 weeks by then.  I just wanted normal life to start again.

And for the next three years life was as normal as it can be when you live 6000 miles away from family and friends.  In a country you had never set foot in until you were already in the process of getting a Visa to live there.  Life had handed us an opportunity to explore the new, the old and the amazing.  And for three years we took advantage of it.  We gave our girls extraordinary experiences that I hope they are grateful for.  I know I forever will be.  But life was also very normal.  The girls went to school, they went on play-dates and we all made friends.  We had barbecues, and dinners out and saw a ton of movies.  Perfectly, exceptionally normal.

But we knew it was only a matter of time before it would all change.  That is the nature of the work B does.  So, last week we moved back into the very same hotel we stayed at when we first arrived wide eyed and full of "we-got-this" attitude.  I am, in fact, sitting at the same desk where I created this blog.  I remember setting up camp right here, designing and shaping this blog.  Hoping that somehow I would find the words to adequately express my thoughts.  Last week I started doing the same thing, in the same place,  for the next chapter in our lives.

Full circle, indeed.

The streets I walk down now are very familiar.  Known.  Though now I walk them knowing that each step I take takes me a bit farther away from Santiago and a bit closer to Prague.  I am no longer a new resident of this great country; I am merely another tourist soaking it all in the rest of my time here.  I now walk these streets, not dreaming of what life will be like in South America, but thinking of a future in yet another country, on another continent.  Fittingly, we will again be moving 6000 miles away.

Full circle.

I am ready to go.  Not because I don't like the hotel or I have been in Santiago for too long, but because it is time.  I have made my peace with leaving Chile and I am ready to begin the next chapter.  I am excited and apprehensive about a future that will shape our lives into something new once again.  We are once again full of "we-got-this" attitude.

We have come full circle.  Sometimes it seems nothing has changed.  And yet, everything has.