See you real soon...

In a couple of hours I leave for the airport.  I am packed, dressed and ready to go.  At least physically.  Mentally is another thing all together.  See, I am leaving the little's behind.  Not something I do often (3 times in 5 years).  Not something I do easily.  And this time I am not only leaving them, I am heading to another country and I am going to be gone for 10 days.  10 days!  I have never been away from them for that long and never really thought I would...

Yes, I know, they are in great hands.  They have Nana and Grampa here to spoil them rotten.  By tomorrow they probably won't even remember why they thought they would miss me.  They will be having so much fun it will all be "Mom who"?  I, on the other hand, will be all out of sorts.  I will be watching other little girls wistfully, wishing mine were with me.  I will reach out to grab a small hand and get nothing but air.  I will lean down to whisper "I love you" in a tiny little ear and there will be no one there.  There will be a feeling of emptiness that will be with me the whole time I am gone.  Until I am reunited with them again. But I also know that I am going to have a great time with B.  Going to dinner and actually being able to have a conversation.  From beginning to end without interruptions.   We will be able to go out and dance without worrying about what time we have to get back to our room to still be able to get enough sleep before the girls wake up.  Because we can sleep until noon if we want.  We can head to the gym any time - not just at nap time.  And not in shifts since there will be no need for one of us to be with the girls.  We can eat when we are hungry instead of when the kids are, or we can not eat if we are too busy having fun.

I know this is a great thing. And I don't mean to make it sound like I am complaining about taking this "vacation" (It is still work for B) but it doesn't stop me from missing my kids.  Already.  And I haven't even left...