Happy Birthday to me...

Today I turned 40.  I feel like I should be writing something profound and deep.  Something reflective and insightful. But I have nothing.  I don't feel insightful or profound.  I am not reflective these days.  Maybe I just haven't given myself the time (I am on vacation) or maybe it's just because I have little kids and I don't feel my age (they keep you young they say) and so I don't see the need to size up what I have lived and learned these past 40 years and deliver it in a nice neat package.


Maybe I am just in denial.


I don't think I am though.  I have never been one to be introspective.  I am not one to analyze and pull apart each moment of my life.  I live in the moment.  Always have and probably always will.  It has served me well to this point...


So what is 40 to me?

Well,I guess I am middle aged by society's definition.  But I don't feel it (unless you catch me on the morning after a GNO - then I definitely feel middle aged).  But, upon waking this morning, I haven't gained any magic powers of perception.  No deep wisdom was imparted to me while I slept last night.  Other than a few wrinkles around my eyes and some laugh lines, I don't look any more 40 than I did yesterday.  I am finding that it is more of a cumulative effect - each and every day I learn something new.  Nothing magical happened yesterday that suddenly made me wiser today but everything I have done or lived in the past definitely shaped who I am this morning.


But I do know a few things.  Things it has taken me 40 years to finally learn...


I do know that I am happy.  Happy to be surrounded by such great friends and family.  Happy that I have my children and my husband by my side as we forge ahead into the future.  Happy that I have my health and the health of my loved ones.  I am ecstatic that I get to spend so much time with my children - reveling in their uniqueness and teaching them what it has taken me 40 years to learn.  I cherish the moments spent with friends that live too far away and yet have somehow taken the time to teach me a thing about friendship - old and new - good and bad.  I am secure in the knowledge that I am who I am.  I will change for no one and that is ok.  I laugh too loud, I talk too much and I hate the sound of silence.  I love deeply, hold tightly and sometimes ask too much of people, but never more than I am willing to give.  I am funny, I am kind and I am ME.


Cheers to the past 40 years.  They have served me well.
Cheers to the next 40.  I hope they have a lot of new adventures waiting for me.
The birthday GNO pics...

Me and my girls!

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