Happy Birthday MadHatter!

From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I fell in love.  I fell hard and fast and completely.  And I haven't stopped loving you for a single moment in the past 6 years.  In fact, each and every year you draw me in deeper and deeper, if that is even possible.  I always think that there is no possible way that I could love you any more than I already do, and then it happens.  And it's because you are constantly amazing me with your sweetness and your generosity.  You startle me with the depth of your compassion and your ability to love unconditionally makes my heart swell. I could not be more proud of the little girl you have become.

There is so much I want for you in life.  So many things that I hope to teach you.  Not just with words, but by my own example and the guiding hands of those that love you.  As we celebrate your sixth birthday this morning, I want to give you a little look into what I wish for you...

I want you to laugh.  And be silly.  And play.  Even when you are all grown up and have kids of your own.
I want you to have no regrets.
I want you to make sure you fill your bucket.  Each and every day.
I want you to live out loud.
I want you to speak the truth.  And never apologize for it.
I want you to reach for the stars.  Even though you may fall short sometimes, never stop dreaming.
I want you to soak up all of the experiences and all the beautiful and amazing things that you are getting the chance to see.  And then use that to be the most compassionate, understanding and worldly person you can be.
I want you to learn to accept that there are things you cannot change.  And then be able to let them go.
I want you never to take yourself too seriously.
I want  you to learn that your manners are not just a formality, but that they will help you in almost all situations in life.
I want you to be healthy.  In mind, body and spirit.
I want you to make friends.  Good friends.  Lifelong friends.  And then I also want you to make transitional friends - those that are in your life for a purpose, and once that purpose is served, pass out again.  And I want you to be able to let them go without hurt.
I want you to learn there is no such thing as perfection.
I want you to do what you love.  Not because it will make you monetarily rich, but because it will make your soul rich.

But mostly, I want you to be your most authentic you.  I want you to grow and learn and love exactly as you need to.  With guidance from me but without interference.  With nurturing but not smothering.  With love and support.

Happy Birthday MadHatter!  May all of your dreams come true this year and all of your wishes be fulfilled.

The Tooth Fairy

About a week ago, MadHatter was playing with her friend A.  The game involved a rubber snake, a light saber and some dress up clothes.  Don't worry, I don't understand either and it was all explained to me, at length.  Anyway, the rubber snake somehow ended up in MadHatter's mouth and A was trying to pull it out when they noticed that one of MadHatter's teeth was loose.   And then all mayhem broke loose.  We were told the story of how they discovered the loose tooth and who thought it was wiggly first and how long they thought it would take to fall out, ad nauseum .

Since then we have watched MadHatter wiggle it with her fingers, jiggle it with her tongue and stare at in the mirror.  She has refused to eat foods because of the tooth.  She has told us she had trouble skiing, because of the tooth.  She has said that she couldn't go to sleep because she might swallow the tooth.  The Tooth had taken on a life of its own.  And then, yesterday, out of the blue, it just fell out.  Couldn't have asked for it to happen any other way because without tears, without yanking, without blood, she is now super excited for the next one to come out.  Good thing because she has 19 more to go...

As for me, as her Mama, I am OK with her losing the first one but only the first one.  Because it was just as much a milestone for me as it was for her and I love the milestones.  But I don't think I will like her losing the second...  No milestone to that just another reminder that she is growing up.  Something she seems to be doing too fast these days.  First it was Kindergarten, then learning to read, and learning to spell/write, and now she is losing teeth. I'm not sure we have seen this many "firsts" since her very first year and I don't think I like how fast she is blowing though them again.  But I also know I cannot stop it.  And that is what I have a problem with.  I like being in control and now she is the one in charge.  Who do I talk to about changing that?

I digress -

Today we have spent our day staring in the mirror, at an empty space where that tooth once was, and asking when the permanent "big girl" tooth will fill it.  I answer the same thing every time, "I just don't know.  It will come in when it is ready."  And as much as I am not ready for her to be a big girl, I am also finding I am not ready to fill in that gap just yet.  Because I think I have fallen in love with her new toothless smile.

 

Why I Elf on A Shelf

The ubiquitous ELF.  You know the one, he shows up some time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and watches your every move.  And magically this elf flies back to the North Pole each night to report if the family (usually the littles) have been naughty or nice.  If you know nothing of the Elf, read here because you need to be caught up to read the rest of this post.

The whole phenomenon started about 8 years ago and has been growing in popularity ever since.  What started as simply placing the elf each night and having it watch from one spot all day, and then moving it again to the next spot, has now evolved into placing the mischievous elf (and they all seem to be very mischievous) into ever increasingly elaborate scenarios and then posting fun pictures of the elf online.  And this is what has the internet up in arms.

There is a huge, and growing, backlash against the elf.  Some take the stance that by creating elaborate scenes for the elf and then posting the pictures online that we are engaging in the Mommy Wars a la "look what I do, and better than you" type. Some say that the elf is just creepy and actually psychologically damaging to children (article).  Some wish they had the time to keep up with the elf, some choose not to do it for religious reasons and some just say bah humbug to everything during the season.  To each his own.  But after reading the above article that told me that I was only doing this to be able to Facebrag about it, that I am damaging my children with "developmentally inappropriate" traditions and worst of all, that I am perpetuating the Mommy Wars by participating, I had to respond.

Yes, we choose to elf  (yep, a new verb).

We started the tradition last year because up until then the girls were just too young to appreciate the elf.  And yep, dare I say it, the time and effort that goes into it.  Because I knew if I was going to elf, I was going to ELF!  I was going to make sure that the girls really got into it because why else bother?  I knew that once I started there was no going back.  I knew that for 24 days (our elf shows up on December 1) I was going to have one more thing to do each and every day.  I went into it with my eyes wide open, my Pinterest account at my fingertips and a plan.

Yes, a plan.  I have to have one or it all would fall apart about day 3.  Sometime in about mid-October, I start looking for ideas, thinking of scenarios and keeping a list.  I write them down in my free time and some time in late November I put together all 24 days of Fidget (our elf).  I keep in mind where we are going to be because, being expats, we usually travel back to the U.S. this time of year, and I make sure that the visits away from home require less paraphernalia.  If any of my scenarios need props (which few of them do) I make sure they are ready and handy.  See, I don't want to spend a lot of time each night on this.  I am just as tired as any other mommy by day's end and the last thing I want to do is elf at night.  (That almost sounds naughty and like a whole other post).  I make sure I am prepared and ready.  Nothing I have on my list takes more than 5 minutes to set up and snap a picture of...

This was the list I made in November -

And I have stuck to it.

But I still haven't told you why I Elf on a Shelf...

Why, when I have so little free time each day do I take even 5 minutes out and stage a doll?  Why add one more thing to do in an already hectic season? Why do I do it?

• I do it because there is such a short time that my children will believe in the magic of Christmas.  And there is a magic to Christmas.  There is a magic to a fat man in a suit that flies all around the world guided by flying reindeer and delivers presents that a small army of elves have helped him make.  The longer I can keep their faith in this, perhaps the easier it will be to shape their faith in other things.
• I do it because the joy in their voices, the smiles on their faces and happiness in their hearts is palpable when they see Fidget.
• I do it because their joy is my joy.
• I do it because they live far, far, far away from family and we don't celebrate the holidays in our own home most years.  Fidget is the one thing that follows them as they are uprooted during the holidays.  It gives them just a little bit of reassurance that if Fidget can find them each day, no matter where they happen to wake up, then the big guy won't forget them on Christmas Eve either.  
• I share the adventures of Fidget on Facebook and Instagram, not to show that I am Mom of the Year, but because my family is so far away.  They do not get to see the girls on a daily basis or even talk to them all of the time.  By hitting send on an Instagram photo and attaching it to facebook, I can reach them all in one fell swoop.  Yep, I could put it on my private photo site, but that then that would require everyone to check it.  That is a lot to ask of my 88 year old grandfather...(and yes, he is on facebook).  It lets them share in a little bit of the magic.
• I do it because it takes me back to a time of my own innocence.  An innocence that I get to see in them each and every day when Fidget is here.
• I do it because I am still a kid at heart and believe in the magic and wonder of the season.  
• I do it because I like to be creative and I like sharing that with my kids.
• I do it because in this crazy expat life we live at least one thing is constant.  Each and every year, on December 1, Fidget shows up, pulling her pranks and moving around the house.  And, just to clarify, we have never told the kids she watches to see if they are bad or good.  We have never used her as our eyes and ears to Santa.  We do not use her to "shape up" their behavior.  She is their friend.  One who makes messes they can't and doesn't get in trouble.  One who gets to play at night and do nothing all day.  A friend that they talk to when they think I am not watching.  I grew up with a Santa that watched me sleep (which does seem a bit creepy) but there are more kids in the world now and Santa sometimes needs some help - don't we all?
• I do it because I hope that it creates memories.  And stories.  And a bond that we can talk about when we are planning what their kids elves will do some day...
• But most of all I do it because I love it.  And because they love it.  Isn't that what it all comes down to in life - doing what you love?  What brings joy to you and your family?  

If you choose not to elf - I respect that.  But I also ask that you respect my right to elf.

Now, on to what Fidget has been up to at our house...

December 1 - Sunbathing since we were at the beach.

 

December 2 - Getting her photocopy on...

December 3 - A photo shoot with her  Lego pal, but what for?

December 4 - Ah, what all of those pictures were for!

December 5 - St. Nick (a day early) and a Gingerbread train.

December 6 - getting all caught up in her own antics!

December 7 - Getting caught red handed taking money from the piggy bank.

 

December 8 - She built a DVD house.

December 9 - She set up a salon and painted some nails.

December 10 - Playing with Dominoes.

December 11 - Circling her wish list of toys from the catalog.

December 12 - Playing with markers.  On the eggs.  In the fridge.

December 13 - She Elf-napped their school clothes and left them these outfits instead!

A Visit with Santa

It is that time of year.  Time to scare the daylights out of Stinkerbell by taking her to see the big, jolly man in the red suit.  I'm kidding...I think.  The girls have been begging to go see Santa for the past 2 weeks and we finally had a free day on Saturday to do it.  This year, MadHatter wanted to go to the mall by our house since she had seen that Santa had built a WHOLE HOUSE in the middle.  She loved last years snow globe but this was totally new and unexpected.  She said she wanted a peek into how Santa lived.  And a peek she got...

Waiting to see Santa

Peeking to see if they could maybe catch a glimpse of the big guy.

Still not so sure of him, but at least she isn't crying.

(anyone else notice that his pants are too short?)

From above.  We were escorted upstairs to Santa's private quarters to see how he lives.

Santa's version of a play room.

His bedroom.

Where he makes out his naughty and nice list...

Saying goodbye to the elves!

The girls loved it.  And Stinkerbell didn't cry!!!  It's all about the 3 M's this time of year.  Magic, Milestones and Memories!  Ane we nailed them all!  I truly hope that this isn't the last year of MadHatter's believing.  I'm just not ready for that yet...

Beach Day in Viña del Mar

Sunday.  What a better way to spend our last day of our Trading Spaces weekend than on the beach.  The one we could see from our 17th floor patio.  But before hitting the main beach in Viña del Mar we decided we would turn north and head up the coast highway to do a bit of sightseeing.  There are rumors of Sea Lion sightings all along the huge rocks that hug the oceanfront.  We traveled about 6 miles up the road and hit a town called Concón.  There really isn't much to see in town, unless you are looking for some good nightlife or some of the freshest seafood around.  We were looking for neither at 10 am - we were looking for the Sea Lions.  Which, sadly, we did not find.  What we did find was a lot of pelicans.  And the girls were delighted.  Actually, they were charmed by the town and the little wall that they could walk along without our help...

MadHatter brought her camera and found this the perfect place to take pictures.  She is getting pretty good and her little girl view on the world is pretty enchanting...

And I stopped to take some big girl snaps...

And one we finished our bird watching we were off to the ocean.  Well, more like the playground that is on the ocean.  MadHatter saw that there were monkey bars and we couldn't get her off of them.  Especially since they were so different from those that she is used to.  This set went up higher and higher with each bar and was made out of rope.  Which meant it was much more flexible and steep than she was used to.  Which meant we spent over an hour trying to conquer it (and we did at the end).  Nothing like a playground in the sand to make the littles happy.

A swing made out of rope, held by rope and attached to rope.  Makes for a lot of interesting moves...

And then it was time to hit the beach.  My girls didn't care that this part of the Pacific Ocean hadn't seen a sunny day over 70 in 6 months.  They just saw water and waves and wanted to get their feet wet.  And so we did...Well, they did.  I am not that crazy.

Rolling the jeans...

And the littlest changes her mind about that cold, blue ocean...

And then she changes her mind again...she gets in...

Good thing we had an extra pair of pants.  Because she was cold!

And that ended our Trading Spaces adventure.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.