Stress and the Expat

I am a stress eater.  And drinker.  And sloth.  (Is being an alcoholic stress sloth a real thing?)  And not necessarily in that order, but it does seem to follow a pattern.

First, when there are copious amounts of stress in my life, I tend to munch...on chips (which usually aren't my go to), chocolate, warm rolls, pasta, the girls leftovers, Halloween candy...You get the idea.  And to that, I also tend to add a couple of glasses of wine, or a gin and tonic or two.  While doing nothing productive.  Nothing at all.

With two kids, just 18 months apart, and both still under the age of 6 and the fact that we live 6000 miles away from family and long term friends, in a place where the language can still throw me for a loop at the best of times, I wonder why, all of a sudden, I feel uber-stressed out.   You would think that I would be used to it by now.  But such is not the case.  For some reason, 3 years into our stay here in Chile, I am stressed and I am working on a way to handle it.  Usually, I love running - but right now, even that doesn't sound like fun.  Usually, I love taking photographs...but I haven't really picked up my camera in weeks.  Usually, writing is my cure all:  the thing I go to when all else fails.  But you can see from the quality and quantity of my posts, even that hasn't worked.

I will be back to writing soon.  I promise.

Just wanted to give you a quick update to know that I hadn't forgotten you all...

Influenza

For those of you who are lucky enough to never have caught the flu*, the gosh darn actual flu**, I envy you.  And I also know you just can't imagine how awful it really can be.  You think it is just a bad bad cold.  And that people with the flu are just whiny.  Or was that just me?  Because I thought people who complained about the fact that their very bones ached until it felt like they were broken, were exaggerating.  That the dry cough that didn't seem to ever end could be easily taken care of with cough drops.  And that as long as  you stayed hydrated, the headache could be managed down to a dull roar.  And then, I got the flu for the first time almost exactly 10 years ago.

I was at work and felt just fine.  Until I didn't.  It was that sudden.  I went from fine to bedridden in about 20 minutes.  And stayed there for 5 days without getting up for anything more than bathroom breaks.  By day 5 or6  I was finally able to get out for a couple of hours a day but the effort was so taxing I was in bed again shortly.  It took about 10 days to get back to normal and by then I lost 10 pounds, many brain cells to the awful TV shows I watched because I didn't have the energy to even pick up the remote and almost a week of my life to solid sleep.

I respected the flu.  And felt shameful for ever calling those who had it wimps.

And then I forgot about it.  Kinda like you forget about most painful episodes in your life  - gall stones, ruptured appendix, breaking a bone, the flu... Until they happen again (except for that ruptured appendix thing.  That really only happens once).

I was knocked down by the flu on Monday.  I went to pick MadHatter up from a playdate and left her friends house feeling just fine, thinking about what I was making for dinner later.  By the time we got home 15 minutes later I had a fever of 102, chills so bad that I could not stop shaking and a sharp ache in my right forearm so badly it did feel like I broke the bone (though that wasn't my only ache, it was the worst.  For now).  Dinner turned into chicken nuggets and chips for the girls, with juice boxes for good measure.  They ate it in front of the TV upstairs while I laid down on the couch thinking that I would be fine tomorrow.  This was just a 24 hour bug....I love being naive sometimes.

They got their own jammies on, brushed their own teeth and MadHatter read Stinkerbell her bedtime story.  I got up to tuck them in and then went to be myself.  It was 7 pm.  And I didn't sleep at all that night.  Not even a minute.  I lay there all night, getting up to pee every hour (a strange side effect of the flu), but never slept.   I ached so badly I couldn't move (again, except to pee.  every hour).   I wasn't even really tired; I was past that point.  I was "there is a newborn in the house that is up every 1-2 hours for the past 10 weeks" tired.  And this was only night one.

But that isn't worst part of it.  The worst part is B had left on a business trip, a week long business trip, that morning.  I was going to have to be a single Mom all week.  A single Mom with the flu.  Oh flying turtles, what new levels of hell I have discovered this week...

I learned:

• Kids can live on granola bars, chicken nuggets, chips, and frozen pizza  for every single meal for 3 1/2 days straight.  They will not die of malnutrition, they will not waste away.  It's not ideal but darn it, they demanded to be fed and it was all I had in me.  
• The dishes that are generated by said meals will end up where ever the kids decided to eat the meal.  And they might get picked up and moved to the kitchen sink if I happened to be walking by them at some point.  Which was not often.
• The kids will get to school.  But they will be dressed however they decided to dress that day.  They hand me the clothes in the morning, I help them put them on and I send them out the door.  Teeth got brushed (again, by them, not me) and hair was brushed (by me) but there were no do's being done.
• Laundry that stays in the washing machine after being washed and then forgotten about for 4 days does need to be rewashed.
• Bathing is optional for everyone for the first couple of days but then, no matter how much energy it takes, everyone needs a good scrubbing before the authorities come and ask why the children are covered in chicken nugget crumbs and caked on layers of dirt.
• I did not know that it could literally hurt to move your eyeballs.
• You can watch your house turn into a pigsty right before your eyes and just not give a damn. You can see the dust layers forming, fur balls start to fill every nook and cranny, and muddy paw prints track from your back door to, well, everywhere and somehow you just can't get up the energy to even care.
• The kids that haven't woken in the night in ages will all of a sudden be up 2-3 times each night, crying and screaming.  Once you get upstairs and down the hall, they will just tell you that they forgot why they were up.  And screaming.
• You will get sick exactly 2 days after taking your first family picture in 6 years (so, ever because the kids weren't even born that long ago) and you will lose a ton of weight.  Of course you will.
• The kids will be extra tiring and annoying and they will fight like crazy.  It's like they know you can't do anything about it.
• And you won't do anything about it.  Your kids will love when you are sick.  Because you just don't have the energy to deal.  They will have full reign of the house inside and out.  What they were up to, I have no idea but they are still alive and have all of their limbs so that worked out for me.
• The dog will drive you nuts wanting to go for a walk.  You will seriously contemplate opening the front door and letting her go by herself and hoping she makes it home.  Or sending your 5 year old around the block with her (don't call the authorities, I did neither).  All in all, she will get no walk.
• Walking up the stairs is enough to cause you to be winded and need to lay down upon arrival at the sofa.  You will then fall asleep for the next hour from the effort.  Same will be said for taking a shower, feeding the dog or brushing your teeth.
• Your husband will go on a week long trip two seconds before you get sick and will return just as you are feeling better.  I know I mentioned that above; I felt it needed repeating.
• Driving while sick with the flu could be just as bad as driving drunk.
• But you will have to drive because of course it is better to have the kids in school than home with you, even if it is just for a few hours. 
• And of course, you get sick on Monday because Tuesday is your day to go grocery shopping and there is nothing left in the house.  Thank goodness you stocked up on chicken nuggets, frozen pizza and chips last time.
• The kids will have a shortened school week because of parent teacher conferences.  Yep, you only get Tuesday and Wednesday without them because Thursday is a half-day and Friday they are off. Yay me!

There is probably more that I have forgotten because I don't think I was in my right mind until about Thursday afternoon.  And today, I only feel marginally better.  But I think I have hit the turning point now at day 5.  I am still exhausted by everything but the fever is gone, the cough is subsiding and I can roll my eyes without wincing.  The bones feel like they have all healed and I finally ate solid food.

Which means, of course, B comes home tomorrow.

Get your flu shot people, get your flu shot!!!

* influenza - n.  An acute contagious viral infection characterized by inflammation of the respitory tract and by fever, chills, muscular pain and prostration (official definition)

**there is only one.  It changes it's formation and attack slightly each year but there is still only one influenza.  There IS. NO. SUCH. THING. as the STOMACH flu.  You can have a virus that affects your stomach but there is not FLU associated with it.  

Take the Long Way Home

I tempted fate.  So, in a way, I can only blame myself.  You see, I posted this before ever leaving the U.S.  Before I was absolutely, positively, 100% sure that it was going to be 47 days from the time I left Chile until the time I returned.  I was just begging for a flight to be cancelled or our luggage to be lost or something to be broken.  Or all of that.

We have been here before.  More than once actually but most memorably last year when trying to return from a similar Home Leave.  You can refresh your memory here.  The long and short of it is that I may have to reconsider ever going on Home Leave again...

I thought it wise to check on our flight status before ever leaving the house on Thursday.  Heck, I did it before I even showered and packed the make-up bag.  Because why would I shower if the flight was delayed and I would just be getting back in my parents pool?  I even mentioned this in jest to my family the night before.  I checked online just after lunch to see if our 9:30 flight was on time.  This is what I saw...

If you looked closely you would see that my red-eye flight had been turned into an all day trek.  Starting tomorrow morning.  At 7:00 am.  This is an international flight so we need to be there two hours early to make sure it all goes smoothly.  I also need about an hour to get myself showered, re-packed and ready and then do the same for the girls (minus showers and the packed and ready parts.  Let's face it, at that hour I drag them out of bed and throw them on the shuttle).  And then it is a 30 minute shuttle ride from the AA approved hotel to the airport (because we would still have to take the flight from Austin to Dallas so that we could get on this rescheduled flight).  So, subtract 3 1/2 hours from 7 am and you get...oh, good gracious is there any other way?

B was on the phone immediately.  We didn't have a lot of options.  We tried to get on the same flights just a day later but they were already booked solid.  We tried to re-route ourselves through Lima and then to Santiago but there was just no good way.  It seemed our only option was to stay put and try again tomorrow.  This time flying from Austin to Dallas, Dallas to Miami and then Miami to Santiago.  Yep, I'm exhausted just reading that too.  And I haven't even left home yet.

Fast forward to the next day.  We leave just after lunch to make our Austin/Dallas flight.  Smooth sailing all the way.  We get to Dallas and ride the train to our appropriate gate.  The minute, almost second, we have the gate in sight we hear the announcement that they have changed our gate.  Not a good sign.  We hop back on the train and head to the farthest point possible from where we are.  We board with minutes to spare.  And then sit. And sit.  And sit.  The pilot comes on and informs us that the plane was scheduled to go to Costa Rica but then they found out that it didn't have the correct clearances to leave the country.  So we were given the plane.  But now it didn't have the correct software to fly to our current destination, Miami, so we would have to wait while they loaded it.  And wait.  Finally we were ready to go and the storm settled in.  And so we waited some more.  I finally looked back at B and asked the question I just hadn't wanted to know the definitive answer to until now, "We aren't going to make our connection, are we?"  A slight shake of his head was all I needed.

But we were off.  And we landed in Miami just a minute too late.  In fact, our plane was still there.  It was still at the gate and the gate was still open but they had oversold the flight and they now had no room for us. So it was off to re-booking we went.

We were re-ticketed quickly enough because there was only one option.  There is only one flight a day to Santiago out of Miami and it was the one we just missed.  We had 24 hours to sit and wait.  24 hours with a 5 year old and a 4 year old.  Fun.

Vouchers in hand (lots of vouchers since we had a full day) we headed to the hotel.  Which was convenient since it was in Terminal E.  Yep, we didn't even leave the airport.  I felt a bit like we were in the Tom Hanks movie from a couple of years back.  But I didn't have the energy to think about it.  I was tired and it was almost 1 am.  Both girls were well beyond their bedtimes and so was I.

We spent the next 24 hours at the airport.  We did a bit of fooling around and eating and walking and taking naps...

And finally it was time to board the plane.  But we had to make sure, just one last time, that the plane was actually going to take off...

So we settled into our seats.  After all of the trouble we had they put us in Business Class.  It was a godsend since the girls had been running on no sleep and little schedule for the past couple of days.  We settled them in and they made it seem like they flew at the front of the plane all of the time and this was just another seat...

The girls and I were ready for take off.  It was past 11:30 pm and we were all ready to just lay our seats flat and curl up with our duvets.  No such luck.  We were delayed again.  Not a big problem because we were leaving and we would still make it to Santiago tomorrow morning, just a bit later, but the girls really wanted to sleep and until take off they had to remain in an upright position.  About 12:45 am we did take off - and MadHatter was out (for the rest of the flight).  Stinkerbell hung on for a bit but soon was snoring soundly too.

We finally made it to Santiago!  2 days later than originally planned but at least we made it before MadHatter missed the first day of school.  We breezed through immigration and went to the Baggage Claim.  Where it took only a few minutes to realize that our bags had not made the journey.  How can the airline have 24 hours to get the bags on the right flight and still not get them there?  So we trekked home, happy to be there but still baffled about our bags.

They did make it in.  The next morning on that one flight a day they have out of Miami.  And I began the unpacking process.  And then realized, my stroller didn't make it.  The stroller we checked ourselves, at the gate.  It was still missing.  Guess when we got it?  You guessed it - the next morning as it had to take the only flight out, again.  Problem is, it looked like this when I got it...

How much pressure do you have to put on a piece of metal to make it fold like that?  Now we are waiting for them to replace the stroller for us and doing so in Santiago may be difficult.  But at least they are making it right.

We are home.  We are safe.  And everyone is healthy.  That is really what counts in the long run.  But I wouldn't want to be travelling with me the next time I try to fly to or from Santiago.

(Next up - a series of recaps about what we did while in the U.S.)

School is in Session

 Finally.  The day was upon us.  

We woke early (oh, did we wake early) after a restless night of sleep.  Hers, not mine.  Well, mine too but only because of her.  I would have slept like the dead otherwise.

One of us was bright eyed and eager.  The other sleepy eyed and yearning for coffee.  I will let you guess which one of us was which.

We rushed through getting dressed and brushing our teeth.   We found our shoes and put them on in record time. We even wanted to skip breakfast and just go.  "Nothing doing", said I.  So she ate about 2 bites of her waffle and a grabbed a cereal bar to go.  

"Is it time to go, Mama?  Is it time now?"

"Yep.  But first I need one simple picture"

Eyes rolled but she knows she isn't getting out of this one.  So she went around turning on all of the lights in the front hall before sitting down on the steps, held up her sign and smiled patiently.  I clicked a few and decided it's not going to work very well.  Even with all of the lights on it was still pitch black outside and that means so is my front hall.  Grainy and oddly shadowed is all I was going to get so I give up.

We left the house at 7 a.m. (about 45 minutes before school starts) so that we did't get caught in the drop off crush.  We still did.  Thank goodness for the bus...Normally she would be catching the school bus right outside our front door. It is super convenient but also super early.  And for the first day (or week, I haven't decided) I wanted to be there to show her where things are and how to get from place to place.  

Yep, that says 6:57 is her pick-up time. Ouch!

We parked out in left field.  Literally.  We had to park on the baseball diamond since there were so many parents staying and walking their kids in the first day.  She hopped out before I could even unbuckle my seat belt.  I walked around and handed her the brand new backpack she picked out.  And she hoisted it up onto her shoulders like she has done this everyday of her life.  

And we began our trek.  And it was a trek.

Nido de Aguilas is a campus not just a school.  It is larger than some community college campuses in fact.  And the building that houses MadHatter's classroom happens to be located up the stairs, across a bridge and on the far side from where we were parked.  

You can see her building over her left shoulder.  

We searched for K2B together.  She found it first and then smiled in delight when she saw her name was written on the door.

And this is where she stops smiling and becomes a bit worried.  She gets inside and clings so tightly to my left arm that I am afraid the blood flow to my fingers is going to stop.  She hides her head behind my arm but peeks out every once in a while to see who else has come in the room.  She is curious, but apprehensive.  This is all new to her and as excited as she was at the prospect of Kindergarten, she is a less sure of the reality.

So, I stay for a minute.  Or twenty.

I help her pick out her cubby and then put her backpack inside. 

We pick out a cubby tag and write her name on it.

We draw a picture on the front of our new journal that Miss Andrea has given us for the year. 

And we read a story.

And now it is time for me to leave.  The school day has begun and the kids are all lining up at the circle.  The other parents are saying goodbye too.  But MadHatter wants just one more hug.  

And another.

And another.

Finally, I pry myself away and leave her holding Miss Raewyns hand with tears silently leaking out of her eyes.  I leave quickly and never look back or I am going to end up with tears not so silently leaking out of mine.

The day is long (for her).  Stinkerbell already misses her sister and can't understand why she is not home when I pick her up after pre-school.  She keeps asking when we are going to go get MadHatter.  

"Now Mama.  Is it time now?"

Finally, 2:00 rolls around and we head back into the chaos that is Santiago driving during afternoon pick up.  Stinkerbell is so excited to be able to go "The Nido" to pick up her sister.  

And she makes herself at home when we get to MadHatter's class by just walking in, sitting down at one of the tables and grabbing a pink pencil to draw a picture.  She sits right next to her sister.  Who has no trace of tears but only a huge smile on her face.

When I ask, "What did you do today, Mad?" she just smiles, gives a slight shake of her head and says, "It's a secret"

That's right.  I didn't get a single detail out of her about how her day was or what they did for all of that time.  She told me she would tell me tomorrow but for today it was a secret.  She wanted to be the one to hold all of the memories for awhile without sharing. 

This doesn't bode well for the high school years...

We held hands on our walk out of school.  All three of us.  MadHatter saying hi to various new friends and teachers.  Telling them about her accomplishment on the monkey bars (she finally learned to do it hand over hand all the way across) and laughing at their shared antics of that first day.

It was heart warming.  And a bit sad.  

MadHatter has begun her separate life.  The one that slowly, but surely, gives her more and more time away from me.  Away from home.  She is navigating a new school with changing classrooms.  She is making friends of her choosing and not just having to play with those in her class.    She is not going to be at our lunch table more than she is.  She has memories, and moments, and stories that I will only hear second hand.  If I get to hear them at all.  Until now I have been there for almost all of her moments, and memories and stories and missing them makes me a bit sad.

But only for a minute.  Because how can you be sad when she has a face like this after her day?

She loves her Nido sun hat.  Says it makes her look like a cowgirl.

We got home and I made her take one last picture.  This time it was light out so we did it outside.  She obliged and then ran off to tell her sister all about her first day.  Little stinker!

Mothers Day at Jardin

Each year the jardin (pre-school) that both of the girls attend puts on a Mother's Day program.  The mothers are given a crown made by their child(ren) and have their picture taken together in a queen's chair.  The mothers are then sent to sit at the back of the room while the children sing songs, recite some poems and dance, dance, dance.  During parts there is an interacitve portion where we all do the hokey pokey and turn ourselves around.  All in all, a lot of fun.  But in the past two years neither of the girls has been much of a participant in the singing/poem reciting parts.  They just turn very shy when standing in front of the class and 40 sets of adult eyes are staring back at them.  I would be too so I don't blame them.

I went to the program this week with the idea that the girls and I would have a good time together.  And we did.  But I was also pleasantly surprised that MadHatter has grown out of her shyness.  She now seems to relish the 40 sets of adult eyes watching her.  Plays to them in fact.  It was great to see her show her personality to the whole room (the one we get to see at home).  I was fun to watch her having so much fun.

As for Stinkerbell, she hasn't quite overcome the shyness.  But that is ok, because together we watched MadHatter sing and dance and enchant.  Maybe next year she will be up there with the rest of them but for now I was quite content to listen to her quietly sing the songs from the comfort of my lap.

Happy Mothers Day indeed!

Viña Errazuriz

For the past year, I have been trying to figure out a way to get to Viña Errazuriz.  I know how to get there (it's not that far away) and I could have headed up there any day I really wanted to. But there was more to it than just heading up and doing the tour.  I wanted the whole experience.  The tour, the tasting, the food.  And I wanted to share it with someone else.  Actually, I had to share it with someone else because they only book tours for two or more people.  I needed to find another sucker companion for my tour.

I found them last weekend.  Actually, I didn't have to look too far as they had been squatting babysitting visiting us for the past 2 1/2 weeks.  And since it was my parents final weekend with us,we wanted to get out and explore.  And since they have been fans of the Errazuriz Seña wine for years, I didn't have arm twisting to do.  I had more trouble getting the vineyard to schedule a time.  But after 2 phone calls and about 20 back and forth emails, we were all set to go.

Early last Saturday morning we set off for the drive to the Aconcagua Valley (You may remember we made a trip there in September to see VSE).  It is located about 60 miles North of Santiago.  Not very far really but back when it was founded, it's owner was ridiculed for straying so far away from the good soil and climate near the big city.  See, back in the late 1800's almost all of the other vineyards were settled very close to the city and towards the ocean.  Not to the North and inland.  But the founder of Viña Errazuriz, Maximiano Errazuriz recognized early on that the valley has the perfect conditions for growing grapes - cool and rainy winters, followed by hot and dry summers with a moist Pacific wind blowing year 'round.  In 1870 he bought up hundreds of acres of land in a town called Panquehue (about 300 hectares to start and grew that to over 700, making him that largest vineyard in the hands of a single owner) and promised he would produce the best wine from the best land.  And he kept that promise.

In the past ten years, the vineyard's Icon wines -  Seña (in a partnership with Robert Mondavi),  Don Maximiano Founders Reserve and Chadwick - have consistently placed in the top ten in blind vertical tastings worldwide.  Most times placing in the top three and beating out the well known Châteaux LaFite-Rothschild, Châteaux Latour and Châteaux Margeaux.  In recent years they have added their newest additions - La Cumbre and Kai - into their competitive mix.  It will take time to see how well these stand up beside their other Icon wines but in the three years that the 2007 vintages of both wines have been entered in the competitions they have won some impressive awards, even beating out some of their own, more established vintages.  This vineyard has won so many awards, for their wines, for their Chief Winemaker, for their overall operation that I couldn't possibly list them all.

Arguably, Viña Errazuriz produces some of the finest wines in the world (and some of the more expensive).  But not only do they have a great product, they have an exquisite parcel of land.  And some excellent personnel.  Saxy, our guide, moved down to Chile a few years ago from California but has only been at Errazuriz for about 6 months.  The length of time made no difference.  She was well informed, easy going, and put up with some goofing around by the girls.  Though they are pretty well behaved, and asked some very good questions on this tour, they are still kids and if you give them the outdoors to play in that is exactly what they will do.

After our tour, we had a wine pairing lunch and got to taste some of their Max Reserva wines.  We did not opt for the Icon tasting because it was in addition to the lunch and we felt like we would already have enough to taste.  We did have to drive home, you know.  The lunch was four courses and everything was delicious.  Especially the wines. But when all was cleared and we had about 1/2 hour to kill before we needed to head back to Santiago we decided to order a bottle of the Kai.  And I am so glad we did.  Each of us had a small glass and took the rest home to enjoy when our palates (and minds) were clearer.  Our verdict - four thumbs up (the girls didn't get a vote or a taste).

I will chalk this up as one of the best wine tours/tastings/lunches I have had.  And I have had a few.  Now, I just need for someone else to come down and visit us so I can do it all again.

Excited to start our tour.

Our meeting spot.

A walk down to the cellar.

Their vault.  All of these bottles are sitting here, without labels, just waiting for an order.  They will get their label based on where they are being shipped.

Private dining/tasting room.  

Those vaults hold every year of each of their Icon wines.  That is a LOT of money sitting in those vaults.  Good thing they were locked up as I may have been tempted to take one or two of those Seña's...

Leading the way through the vines up to our vantage point at the top.

Half way up.

The girls stopped for a rest.  And a photo op.

Keep going girls...

MadHatter wanted to stop and say hi to Mary.

We made it!

The view

And then we had to walk all the way back down.  This time using the stairs.

Where all of the sorting, fermenting, aging and bottling takes place.  It is a gravity fed winery.

This walkway didn't freak me out at all with two little kids walking around.

We threatened to throw her in a barrel.  Yep, it had wine in it.  Yep, it was open.  Yep, this is Chile.

One of their tasting rooms.  

Our lunch table.  Look at all of those wine glasses.  4 for each person plus wine glasses.  Somehow they still make it seem uncrowded and intimate. (there were 22 glasses on that table)

B and his girls.

And then it was time to say goodbye.  But not before we gave our thanks to our great tour guide, Saxy.
MadHatter gave her a big hug and kiss, Chilean style, before we left and promised to see her soon.
Anytime, MadHatter, anytime.

Hace Dos Anos

{This is my first bi-lingual post.  It will be in Spanish first.  A small nod to the fact that we have now been in Chile for two years, as of today.  It is a small glimpse into what I have learned - both about this country, about myself and about this language.  When I consider that I did not speak more than a couple of words of Spanish two years ago (really, couldn't conjugate a single verb) I realize I have come a long way.  But I also know that being here for two years is a blink of an eye and that I still have so much to learn.  In more than just the language department.  It has been a journey.  Not always easy and it has not always been fun, but it has been an adventure.

The Spanish part of this post has been written off the top of my head, as are most of my posts.  I did not us a dictionary.  I did not go to Google translate. It is nothing more than my own words in Spanish.  I have not had anyone proof it so there will be mistakes.  It comes with the territory.  When I write in English I write the way I talk.  I cannot do that in Spanish because I do not know nearly as many words and my slang doesn't translate.  It wasn't easy writing this in a foreign language.  But it was much easier than trying to speak in that same language because I had all the time in the world to find the right words.  The right conjugations   And I could go back and proof it myself - not at all how it works when you are face to face in a conversation.  So don't let this bit of written prose give you the impression that my Spanish is great, or even good...

The English part is what I hope the Spanish part says. There will be some mistakes in my Spanish, so be it...there are probably a lot of mistakes in the English too...}

Hace dos años comenzamos un viaje. No fue sólo un cambia de distancia, pero un cambio de un estilo de vida. Un cambio de ubicación, seguro, pero también un cambio de actitud. Un cambio en la forma en que vivimos nuestras vidas y cómo nos relacionamos con el mundo. Empezamos una nueva vida, como una familia, en un lugar fuera de nuestra zona de confort y sabíamos que sería duro. Y luego, un poco más fácil. Y luego sería nuestra normal. Y lo ha hecho. Hemos pasado dos años y, a veces, aún parece que fue ayer.

A veces, miro atrás y lo parece como si estuviéramos sentados en nuestra casa en California, hablando de si esto sería lo mejor para nosotros, o si sería tirar todo fuera de nuestro control. (Sí, lo haría). Estábamos sentados en California, acercado de los amigos mejor, pero nos sentíamos tan solos. Debido a que la decisión de moverse más de 6000 kilómetros de su familia y amigos, la nuestra estaba solo. Nadie puede decidir por nosotros si sería mejor para mover todo y empezar de nuevo. No se movían por todo el país, sino en todo un hemisferio. Era mucho para considerar.  Había listas. Habia pros y contras. Había noches sin dormiendo. Pero al final, como todos ustedes saben, hemos tomado la decisión de moverse. Hemos convertido nuestras vidas al revés. Había razones positivas que hacer y los unicos aspectos negativos que encontramos eran nuestros propios miedos. Al final decidimos que el pro ha superado la contras. Queríamos pasar para que nuestros niños pudieran experimentar la vida en el mundo. Era hora de que mis hijas tener una idea de una vida fuera de los EE.UU. Una vida fuera del privilegio que hubiera crecido con en California. Ya era hora de que me acuerde de lo que era demasiado.

No ha sido difícil. Pero no ha sido fácil. Vivimos una vida privilegiada aquí. (lo conocemos).  Sin embargo, todavía no ha sido fácil. Nuestra vida es aumentar aqui pero, realmente, no compró más que cosas. Pone un techo sobre nuestro cabezas, la comida sobre nuestra mesa y permitir las vacaciones en nuestro calendario. Pero no puede hacerme sentir como en mi hogar. No se puede compensar el hecho de que la mayoría de la gente que quiero y confío en que somos un continente de distancia. No se puede escuchar a mí cuando me siento triste. No se puede aprender un idioma nuevo para mí.

Todavía me siento como un extraño aquí (pero creo que podría vivir aquí el resto de mi vida y todavía siente como un extraño) y, sin embargo, me siento muy bien acogidos. Es una captura 22.  He hecho buenos amigos, se despidió de algunos de ellos, y luego hizo más. Me mudé aquí con una guagua (o bebe fuera de Chile) y una hija pequeña. Me mudé con mucha aprensión y nervios como cuerdas ensartadas banjo (ok, that I had to look up in Google translate!). Pero he ajustado. He enviado mis dos hijas a la escuela. Y he visto como han aprendido dos idiomas.  Fluidez. Y he visto a adaptarse, mejor de lo que hubiera pensado, a una cultura totalmente nueva.

He aprendido como de hacer las compras en el supermercado, las reglas de la carretera y la forma de hacer las cosas consumado. He tenido muchos golpes y contusiónes en mi viajes aqui, pero creo que he aprendido mucho sobre mí mismo y lo fuerte que puede ser en la cara de un desafío. He aprendido que hay cosas que nunca se utilizan para acá - la falta de servicio al cliente, el hecho de que no se puede manejar en una pista en cada momento y el tamaño de mi lavadora (muy pequenita). Pero también, he aprendido que algunas de las cosas que pensé que no podría vivir sin - platos de papel, un triturador de basura, una puerta de garaje - son todas las cosas que llegan a ser insignificante con el tiempo.

Soy mejor porque he mudado aquí. Mi familia es mejor por han mudado aquí.  Estamos prosperando cuando yo no sabía si se podría sobrevivir. Estamos contentos, estamos muy agradecidos y estamos viviendo neustra vida neuva.   Porque como empezamos nuestro tercer año en Chile, no sabemos si vamos a llegar a nuestro cuarto. Y no estamos listos para decir adiós... por el momento.

{ok - time for the English version...}

Two years ago we began a journey.  Not just a change in miles but a change in lifestyle.  A change in location, sure, but also a change in attitude.  A change in the way we lived our lives and how we interacted with the world.  We started a new life, as a family, in a place outside of our comfort zone and expected it to be hard.  And then a bit easier.  And then to become our normal.  And it has.  It has been two years and at times it still seems like just yesterday.

Sometimes, I look back and it stills seems like we were sitting in our house in California, talking about whether this would be what was best for us, or if it would throw everything out of our control.  (Yes, it would).  We were sitting in California, surrounded by great friends, but felt so alone.  Because the decision to move over 6000 miles from family and friends, was ours alone.  No one could decide for us if it would be best to pick it all up and start all over.  We weren't moving across the country, but across an entire hemisphere.  It was a lot to take in.  There were lists.  There were pro's and con's.  There were sleepless nights.  But in the end, as you all know, we made the choice to move.  We turned our lives inside out and upside down.  There were so many positive reasons to do so and the only negatives we could find were our own fears seeping through.  In the end we decided that the pro's outweighed the con's.  We wanted to move so that our children could experience living in the world.  It was time for both of my daughters to get a feel for a life outside of the U.S.  A life outside of the privilege they would have grown up with in California. It was time for me to remember what it was like too.

I hasn't been hard.  But it hasn't been easy.  I know I live a privileged life here.  But it still hasn't been easy.  Money really doesn't buy you more than things. It puts a roof over my head, food on my table and vacations on my calendar.  But it can't make me feel at home.   It cannot compensate for the fact that the majority of the people I love and count on are a continent away.  It cannot listen to me when I am feeling sad.  It cannot learn a new language for me.

I still  feel like an outsider here (but I think I could live here for the rest of my life and still feel like an outsider) and yet, I feel very welcomed.  It's a catch 22.  I have made good friends, said goodbye to some of them, and then made a few more.  I moved down here with a baby and a toddler.  I moved with a lot of apprehension and nerves strung like banjo strings.  But I have adjusted.  I have sent both of my progeny off to school.  And I have watched as they learned two languages.  Fluently.  And I have watched them adapt, better than I would have ever thought, to a whole new culture.

I have learned the ins and outs of grocery shopping, the rules of the road, and how to get things accomplished.  I have had a lot of bumps and bruises along the way, but I think I have learned a lot about myself and how strong I can be in the face of a challenge.  I have learned that there are things I will never get used to here - the lack of customer service, the fact that no one can drive in one lane at any given time and the size of my washing machine (very small).  But I have also learned that some of the things that I thought I couldn't live without - paper plates, a garbage disposal, a garage door - are all things that become insignificant with time.

I am better because I have moved here.  My family is better for having moved here.  We are thriving when I didn't know if we could even survive.  We are happy, we are grateful and we are soaking it all in.  Because as we begin our third year in Chile, we don't know if we will make it to our fourth.  And we aren't ready to say goodbye just yet.

Another One Bites the Dust...

Summer here in Santiago is already turning into just a memory.  The mornings are crisp.  The kind of morning where you curl up out on the back porch with a hot cup of tea and the newspaper.  The nights are cooling off sooner and the comforters are back on the beds.  There are little (and big) toes that need to be kept warm through the early morning hours.  The fans are being turned on less and less.  Outside the winds have picked up and the smog is starting to settle in.  The signs of fall are starting to peek through with every leaf that crunches under one of the girls roller skates, .  We still have about 6 weeks of 85 degree days but then those will slowly fade too.  We will start slipping down into the low 80's, then the mid-70's and will settle into the winter months of high's in the sixties.

But I am not giving up just yet.  We are going to do everything we can to make the most of what is left of summer.  There are still bike rides and park dates and pool parties in our future.  But the reality is, school starts on Monday, and that officially ends the vacation part of summer.  We will lose a bit of our carefree and where-the-wind-blows freedom.  Waking up and dragging four extra feet into bed with me, so I can catch just a few more minutes of calm and quiet (and a few snuggles) will be a rare occurrence.  Our park days will be relegated to afternoon outings instead of late mornings and picnic lunches where we lazily slide backwards  down the slide so our hands touch the sand before our feet and where we swing with our feet trying to touch the still rising sun.  It will be the weekends when we will have our adventures, instead of a random Thursday where we wake up and decide that today is the day we find a brand new favorite place.  We will leave naked Popsicle nights (what better way to eat a Popsicle when you are a kid?) and impromptu sack races behind us until next summer.  We will replace them with early morning wake ups, schedules and homework.  Ugh.  I can already tell you which I prefer!

But fall will also bring new friends for both girls and some much needed play dates (away from Mom).  It will usher in a new era for the MadHatter when she starts Kindergarten in July (see here to understand why she has to spend 3 months back at her old school).  And Stinkerbell will officially be a Pre-School student! Big changes for them both.

I hope they will have fond memories of this summer.  One full of a lot of firsts, for both of them.  Which means it was also chock full of lasts.  I hope they look back some day at the summer they turned 5 and 3 1/2, and remember how much laughter there was.  How much time they spent outside exploring and learning and crafting.  I want them to remember the scraped knees and the bruised shins as part of how resilient they were when trying new things.  But most of all I want them to remember that we did it together.  Because it was as much for me as it was for them and it is a summer I will never forget.

And not just because I have the Instagram snaps to remember it by ;)

We blew bubbles...

And played soccer.

And we jumped in the pool for the first time in mid -December
 (technically before the first day of summer but close enough.)

We picnicked in the park...

where we spent some time climbing trees.
(not to mention perfecting the monkey bars)

We recycled our old white shirts, into colorful new designs...

and we put our own spin on doing just about everything.

On this day we made cards to take to the new baby that our
good friends had just had...

so we had to head down into the "big city"
from our place up here in the hills to deliver them in person.
And we got to hold a 2 day old baby for the first time
Well, at least the first time for some of us.

We then went to their house to hold that baby again, and again
and again...

We ran through the sprinklers in the park across the street...

All of us.

We ganged up on the dog, though I think she loved it.

And one day, she decided that she would come and join the fun.
She figured if MadHatter could learn to swim, so could she.

This one got to have gum for the first time!

And while my sun worshipers did this...

I got to do this...

While enjoying this.

They did go to school for a week - Vacation Bible School

Which seemed to make them love each other more...
Whatever works, I say.

We played a lot of dress up...

And a lot of board games...

And we hosted tea parties...

That served real heart shaped pancakes.

We tagged along...

but loved every minute of it since it meant a new adventure.

We bounced...

We skated...

And we shook.
This time until we made ice cream!

We wore silly goggles

with funny straws attached
(they both learned to snorkel)

We drew pictures in the street...

And we made plenty of hop scotch boards.

And then, we relaxed.  It was time.

And finally we slept.  We were worn out!
Well, at least one of them was!