Monday, July 29, 2013

School is in Session

 Finally.  The day was upon us.  

We woke early (oh, did we wake early) after a restless night of sleep.  Hers, not mine.  Well, mine too but only because of her.  I would have slept like the dead otherwise.

One of us was bright eyed and eager.  The other sleepy eyed and yearning for coffee.  I will let you guess which one of us was which.

We rushed through getting dressed and brushing our teeth.   We found our shoes and put them on in record time. We even wanted to skip breakfast and just go.  "Nothing doing", said I.  So she ate about 2 bites of her waffle and a grabbed a cereal bar to go.  

"Is it time to go, Mama?  Is it time now?"

"Yep.  But first I need one simple picture"

Eyes rolled but she knows she isn't getting out of this one.  So she went around turning on all of the lights in the front hall before sitting down on the steps, held up her sign and smiled patiently.  I clicked a few and decided it's not going to work very well.  Even with all of the lights on it was still pitch black outside and that means so is my front hall.  Grainy and oddly shadowed is all I was going to get so I give up.


We left the house at 7 a.m. (about 45 minutes before school starts) so that we did't get caught in the drop off crush.  We still did.  Thank goodness for the bus...Normally she would be catching the school bus right outside our front door. It is super convenient but also super early.  And for the first day (or week, I haven't decided) I wanted to be there to show her where things are and how to get from place to place.  

Yep, that says 6:57 is her pick-up time. Ouch!

We parked out in left field.  Literally.  We had to park on the baseball diamond since there were so many parents staying and walking their kids in the first day.  She hopped out before I could even unbuckle my seat belt.  I walked around and handed her the brand new backpack she picked out.  And she hoisted it up onto her shoulders like she has done this everyday of her life.  

And we began our trek.  And it was a trek.

Nido de Aguilas is a campus not just a school.  It is larger than some community college campuses in fact.  And the building that houses MadHatter's classroom happens to be located up the stairs, across a bridge and on the far side from where we were parked.  
You can see her building over her left shoulder.  
We searched for K2B together.  She found it first and then smiled in delight when she saw her name was written on the door.


And this is where she stops smiling and becomes a bit worried.  She gets inside and clings so tightly to my left arm that I am afraid the blood flow to my fingers is going to stop.  She hides her head behind my arm but peeks out every once in a while to see who else has come in the room.  She is curious, but apprehensive.  This is all new to her and as excited as she was at the prospect of Kindergarten, she is a less sure of the reality.

So, I stay for a minute.  Or twenty.

I help her pick out her cubby and then put her backpack inside. 

We pick out a cubby tag and write her name on it.


We draw a picture on the front of our new journal that Miss Andrea has given us for the year. 

And we read a story.

And now it is time for me to leave.  The school day has begun and the kids are all lining up at the circle.  The other parents are saying goodbye too.  But MadHatter wants just one more hug.  

And another.

And another.

Finally, I pry myself away and leave her holding Miss Raewyns hand with tears silently leaking out of her eyes.  I leave quickly and never look back or I am going to end up with tears not so silently leaking out of mine.

The day is long (for her).  Stinkerbell already misses her sister and can't understand why she is not home when I pick her up after pre-school.  She keeps asking when we are going to go get MadHatter.  

"Now Mama.  Is it time now?"

Finally, 2:00 rolls around and we head back into the chaos that is Santiago driving during afternoon pick up.  Stinkerbell is so excited to be able to go "The Nido" to pick up her sister.  

And she makes herself at home when we get to MadHatter's class by just walking in, sitting down at one of the tables and grabbing a pink pencil to draw a picture.  She sits right next to her sister.  Who has no trace of tears but only a huge smile on her face.

When I ask, "What did you do today, Mad?" she just smiles, gives a slight shake of her head and says, "It's a secret"

That's right.  I didn't get a single detail out of her about how her day was or what they did for all of that time.  She told me she would tell me tomorrow but for today it was a secret.  She wanted to be the one to hold all of the memories for awhile without sharing. 

This doesn't bode well for the high school years...

We held hands on our walk out of school.  All three of us.  MadHatter saying hi to various new friends and teachers.  Telling them about her accomplishment on the monkey bars (she finally learned to do it hand over hand all the way across) and laughing at their shared antics of that first day.

It was heart warming.  And a bit sad.  

MadHatter has begun her separate life.  The one that slowly, but surely, gives her more and more time away from me.  Away from home.  She is navigating a new school with changing classrooms.  She is making friends of her choosing and not just having to play with those in her class.    She is not going to be at our lunch table more than she is.  She has memories, and moments, and stories that I will only hear second hand.  If I get to hear them at all.  Until now I have been there for almost all of her moments, and memories and stories and missing them makes me a bit sad.

But only for a minute.  Because how can you be sad when she has a face like this after her day?

She loves her Nido sun hat.  Says it makes her look like a cowgirl.

We got home and I made her take one last picture.  This time it was light out so we did it outside.  She obliged and then ran off to tell her sister all about her first day.  Little stinker!










Wednesday, July 24, 2013

47 days

 We have been stateside for 46 days now.  We will end that streak at 47.
Tomorrow night we catch the red eye for home. And I have so much to tell you about those 47 days we spent with family and friends.  But I can't.  Not just now.  Not because I don't have the time (I don't) but I also don't have the heart.  I can't sum it all up while I feel I am still in the midst of it.  Maybe next week, when I have some distance and when I have some clarity, I will be able to start dissecting it all.  Piece by piece.  But until then...

It has been a vacation jam packed.  Full of fun, laughs, love and heartache.  We have caught up with friends, both new and old.  We have attended a wedding and a funeral.  We have laughed, we have cried and we have lived. It has been 46 days that I will never forget. 

And I promise I will tell you all about it.  But like I said before, not just now.  I don't have the energy, or the words, right now.  

So I will leave you with a Wordless Wednesday post.  

There are 46 pictures here.  Each taken with my iPhone and posted on Instagram.  Each summing up one day of our vacation.  They can't possibly tell the whole story (that is up to me in the next few posts) but they can hold you over until then.

Until then...

June 8 - Leaving, on a Jet plane...

June 9 - A Dallas welcome
June 10 -  1st swim
June 11 - 1st Lake day
June 12 - Stinkerbell learns to pedal forward!
June 13 - Taking care of business.  The dentist.
June 14 - Safari tour.
June 15 - Another pool day.  Damn.

June 16 - Homemade Pina Colada's with fresh shaved coconut.  I am never coming home.
June 17 - Second piercing in that ear...and only that ear.  The first time it was done she was only 4 months old and it was done poorly.  It had to be done.  But there were no tears, no cries and a big smile after this moment (I captured the worst of it).
June 18 - Swings!  Nana and Grampa hav the best yard ever!
June 19 - She misses her Papa!
June 20 - Rough life.
June 21 - Taking a ride in Grampa's car.  AND Happy Birthday Papa!
June 22 - Oh to be a kid again!

June 23 - Best Friends together again.
June 24 - Off to see Monsters University.
June 25 - Pool side relaxation.
June 26 - A bit of learning, without knowing it, at the Austin Children's Museum.
June 27 - Showing them what Texas BBQ is all about at Opie's.
June 28  - My baby turns 4!!!
June 29 - half of this crowd is headed home! 
June 30 - Too many reptiles and too little water.
July 1 - Our daily ritual.
July 2 - Seeing the Austin Bats take flight.
July 3 - Choices, choices.  Firework selection for tomorrow.
July 4 - Happy 4th everyone!
July 5 - 5k and BBQ!  Does it get any better?
July 6 - Spike and MadHatter on a ride.  She has waited a year for this!
July 7 - Tie Dye!
July 8 - Another house full.  This time 11 kids and 8 adults!
July 9 - Spa time!
July 10 - Contemplating the silence!
July 11 - Happy Half Birthday Baby girl!  In Buffalo!
July 12 - Papa!!!!
July 13 - Niagara Falls!!!
July 14 - Crossing over to the other side!
July 15 - All dressed an ready to remember a live well lived and a man well loved!
July 16 (maybe 17) - Happy birthday to me.
July 17 - Family pool day.
July 18 - Safari park elephant ride.
July 19 - Cheers.  Wine tasting in Niagara.
July 20 - starting our journey home.  Back to Austin we go.
July 21 - Sleepy kids.  
July 22 - Turbo...Movie 3 in 5 weeks. 
July 23 - trying something new.
July 24 - Movie night with Tio Clavo.

I will add July 25th tomorrow.  After the fact.  All it will be is a picture of a bunch of suitcases in my parents front hall.  Suitcases that are full of our things.  Things.  Not our memories.  Those we will carry with us.

Forever.