Finally. The day was upon us.
We woke early (oh, did we wake early) after a restless night of sleep. Hers, not mine. Well, mine too but only because of her. I would have slept like the dead otherwise.
One of us was bright eyed and eager. The other sleepy eyed and yearning for coffee. I will let you guess which one of us was which.
We rushed through getting dressed and brushing our teeth. We found our shoes and put them on in record time. We even wanted to skip breakfast and just go. "Nothing doing", said I. So she ate about 2 bites of her waffle and a grabbed a cereal bar to go.
"Is it time to go, Mama? Is it time now?"
"Yep. But first I need one simple picture"
Eyes rolled but she knows she isn't getting out of this one. So she went around turning on all of the lights in the front hall before sitting down on the steps, held up her sign and smiled patiently. I clicked a few and decided it's not going to work very well. Even with all of the lights on it was still pitch black outside and that means so is my front hall. Grainy and oddly shadowed is all I was going to get so I give up.
We left the house at 7 a.m. (about 45 minutes before school starts) so that we did't get caught in the drop off crush. We still did. Thank goodness for the bus...Normally she would be catching the school bus right outside our front door. It is super convenient but also super early. And for the first day (or week, I haven't decided) I wanted to be there to show her where things are and how to get from place to place.
You can see her building over her left shoulder. |
We searched for K2B together. She found it first and then smiled in delight when she saw her name was written on the door.
And this is where she stops smiling and becomes a bit worried. She gets inside and clings so tightly to my left arm that I am afraid the blood flow to my fingers is going to stop. She hides her head behind my arm but peeks out every once in a while to see who else has come in the room. She is curious, but apprehensive. This is all new to her and as excited as she was at the prospect of Kindergarten, she is a less sure of the reality.
So, I stay for a minute. Or twenty.
I help her pick out her cubby and then put her backpack inside.
We pick out a cubby tag and write her name on it.
We draw a picture on the front of our new journal that Miss Andrea has given us for the year.
And we read a story.
And now it is time for me to leave. The school day has begun and the kids are all lining up at the circle. The other parents are saying goodbye too. But MadHatter wants just one more hug.
And another.
And another.
Finally, I pry myself away and leave her holding Miss Raewyns hand with tears silently leaking out of her eyes. I leave quickly and never look back or I am going to end up with tears not so silently leaking out of mine.
The day is long (for her). Stinkerbell already misses her sister and can't understand why she is not home when I pick her up after pre-school. She keeps asking when we are going to go get MadHatter.
"Now Mama. Is it time now?"
Finally, 2:00 rolls around and we head back into the chaos that is Santiago driving during afternoon pick up. Stinkerbell is so excited to be able to go "The Nido" to pick up her sister.
And she makes herself at home when we get to MadHatter's class by just walking in, sitting down at one of the tables and grabbing a pink pencil to draw a picture. She sits right next to her sister. Who has no trace of tears but only a huge smile on her face.
When I ask, "What did you do today, Mad?" she just smiles, gives a slight shake of her head and says, "It's a secret"
That's right. I didn't get a single detail out of her about how her day was or what they did for all of that time. She told me she would tell me tomorrow but for today it was a secret. She wanted to be the one to hold all of the memories for awhile without sharing.
This doesn't bode well for the high school years...
We held hands on our walk out of school. All three of us. MadHatter saying hi to various new friends and teachers. Telling them about her accomplishment on the monkey bars (she finally learned to do it hand over hand all the way across) and laughing at their shared antics of that first day.
It was heart warming. And a bit sad.
MadHatter has begun her separate life. The one that slowly, but surely, gives her more and more time away from me. Away from home. She is navigating a new school with changing classrooms. She is making friends of her choosing and not just having to play with those in her class. She is not going to be at our lunch table more than she is. She has memories, and moments, and stories that I will only hear second hand. If I get to hear them at all. Until now I have been there for almost all of her moments, and memories and stories and missing them makes me a bit sad.
But only for a minute. Because how can you be sad when she has a face like this after her day?